Are you in the Modelling Club...?

As 2013 approaches – we will be thinking about what the year will look like, what will we achieve, who we will be with and how we can make things better…

Some of us will look to others for inspiration and guidance – seeking to “model” their behaviour, attitudes and skills such that our outcomes will be the same as theirs; the principle being that if we create the same causes, then the same effects are sure to be the result.

CAUSE = EFFECT

There are all types of Modelling Clubs out there that can be joined, from the motivational and inspirational through to the bizarre and unusual – from Tony Robbins to Harry Palmer if you like…

In fact if you are really into Modelling in a big way, you can even buy a Franchise – perhaps the single greatest tribute that can be laid at the altar of Modelling behaviour...

I remember being on a train returning from my one and only visit to a Three Day event in Docklands, London. Sat opposite to us was another couple wearing the same “access armbands” from the event – so a conversation looked inevitable…

We were asked if we enjoyed the event, what we had learned, and what we would do differently as a result – pretty deep for a chat on a train. These are the sort of questions that Modellers love asking, and we were downtown in Modelling central…

Turns out that this couple attend the same event every year, in fact they have travelled the world spending £000’s on events, CD’s books and memberships – they had spent their life and income learning how to Model the behaviour, attitudes and beliefs of the super successful such that they would be super successful too..

And what did they do…?

He worked shifts in a car factory, and she worked at Tesco – they had done for some years, but they were convinced that next year would be the breakthrough year for them.

There is nothing wrong with factory or shop work – I have spent years doing both – but there is a something wrong with the formula for success if it doesn’t move people forwards...

So why do so many Modelling enthusiasts never actually achieve anything…?

Because there are a THREE missing parts to the equation that conveniently get overlooked – and their omission not only guarantees failure, but ensures dependency on the cult of “Modelling”  (there is no such thing as failure only feedback for example – so you obviously didn’t model well enough – time to buy another program and come back next year…)

FIRST – the Environment is different. If I was to do exactly what Richard Branson did and start out buy opening a Record Shop, I doubt that I would end up being a Billionaire, and the reason is that things have changed. 

SECOND – People are different. We have different strengths and weaknesses, we need to play to our strengths, not overcome the weaknesses. No amount of Modelling behaviour will compensate for these differences; it just produces a synthetic mask, which crumbles away as soon as any pressure is applied to it.

THIRD – the Start and End points are different. We all start from a different place and want to end up in a different place too – the problem (oops – can’t use the “p” word...) challenge is that we are encouraged to attain other people’s goals using other people’s techniques.

The same cause does not amount to the same effect, because of these variables – and the quicker the Modellers realise this then the better the results will be...

So, how do we achieve more if just copying doesn’t work…?

Simple, stop thinking about the magic formula that will fast track success – roll your sleeves up and go to work being prepared to spend a few years achieving your overnight success – and stop it with all the repeat seminars…

Have a happy and successful 2013... 

What if the Mayans were right...?

It is Tuesday the 18^th December 2012 – on Friday the 21^st December 2012, the Mayan Calendar predicts that the world will end…

Now, while I am 99.99% certain that the World will NOT end on Friday, the potential for cataclysmic disaster got me thinking...

What if, just for a few minutes, it was true – that as a planet and a species we only had three days left before we were wiped out..?

Would you be worried about the things that currently preoccupy you now, would you be concerned about your weight, your bank balance, your career or what car you drive..?

Would you care who wins the game show on TV or what shenanigans the latest celebrity is up to in Hollywood…?

Probably not – if you have three days left you would probably be thinking about whom you should spend the time with; and who you need to tell that you love more than life itself.

Would you make the ‘phone call to parents, children or forgotten friends to let them know that regardless of the future you love them, care about them and at some level simply want to be with them…?

What apology would you give to that person who you know deserves it, and that you have been avoiding for too long..?

Is there a God that you should reconnect and make peace with..?

The threat of impending disaster would change our focus and attention to those things in life that are truly important and relevant – the froth of consumerism and the thin veneer of material acquisition we choose to surround ourselves with soon seem irrelevant under these conditions…

Now – if the world was to end on Friday, what would you do today…?

Whatever you choose demonstrates what is really important to you and the question we need to ask ourselves is; why wait until the end of the world to do it – do it anyway…

Make the ‘phone call, tell your children you love them, call Mom and Dad and let them know too.

Stop worrying about the future, about money and cars, or what your success will look like next year – the best way to get the Universe to laugh at you is to share your Goals with it… 

It is never the things we can predict that affect us the most – it is always the unseen or unexpected, so relax and enjoy the ride...

The World will not end on Friday – but we all have the opportunity of making it a better place as a consequence of the threat that it might… 

Happy Christmas – see you in the New Year (hopefully...!)

String Theory

In parts of Asia where Elephants are used as beasts of burden, the trainers have developed a cunning plan that enables them to control the animals and keep them exactly where they want them.

It is so cunning in fact that it would be worthy of a Fox writing his final dissertation for his BSc in Cunningness at the University of Cunning – thanks Black Adder…

When Elephants are young and being trained, their keeper will tie one of their legs to a tree using thick rope. The Elephant objects and tries to pull away, but eventually learns that she cannot break the rope or pull the tree over.

Eventually, the Elephant gives in and becomes compliant – having learned that the tether she is restrained by cannot be broken. When she has learned this lesson, the keeper has the Elephant subdued and in one place by simply tying a piece of string to a sapling; whilst the Elephant has all the potential to snap the string or rip out the sapling by its roots, it doesn’t - not becasue she can't but because she has been given the belief that she can't...

The Elephant has been conditioned, regardless of her physical strength or ability, to remain tethered, under the control of others through the use of a simple piece of string. 

We know that she could easily break free, but she doesn’t believe that she can so, she remains captive – even though freedom is just one easy pull away.

The question is – what strings are limiting you, what beliefs, fears or learned behaviours are synthetically restricting your freedom to be happy, successful and fulfilled..?

As with the Elephants, we sometimes learn to be constrained, and allow ourselves to fall into a pattern of behaviour that we believe is teh only one available to us.

In reality of course, the strings that we allow to bind us are easily broken, it just requires us to make a simple decision, saying yes to an opportunity rather than “think about it...” choosing to move away from people and situations that don’t serve us; or deciding that we simply deserve better…

So as it comes to the end of the year – consider what strings you would like to break for 2013. What decisions will you make, and what action will you take - it is so much easier than you think...

Contrary Marketing...

I have learned over time that I am contrary...

My tendency is to disagree with something - not because it is fundamentally flawed, but because I always prefer to adopt an alternative view...

This has been interesting both personally and professionally - an for Lynn, my wife since 1986, dinner discussions have always been "interesting"..

So when it came to Marketing, when I was told that I needed to "dominate" my sector, be front of mind in every prospect, be all over my market "like a rash" - I began to think..

What if what we did was so good that people hunted us down, we didn't need a web page, Facebook, LinkedIn or have to learn the 7 step sales process complete with navy blue suit, red tie and white shirt...?

What if we did the opposite of whet everyone else does - everyone else by definition is only achieving average results after all...

In 1774, Frederick the Great  - King of Prussia, wanted to introduce a second source of carbohydrates to the wheat (bread..) based diet of his subjects. The plan was to reduce dependence on a single crop, have alternatives should supply fail and introduce competition to the food market.

He sent out a Royal Order that farmers should grow Potatoes - the message was sent to everyone in Prussia, the Royal Marketing machine was in full swing. Not only was the marketing good, but it was compulsory too - so how could it fail...?

The response the Royal Court received from the peasant farmers was that potatoes were not good for eating, even the dogs wouldn't eat them. The refusal by the farmers to grow potatoes as a crop even resulted in executions of some of them. 

Now, imagine a marketing consultant comes along...

The advice could have included suggestions that in order to correct this we need to target the market, come up with compelling offers and through a combined approach of Attention, Interest, Desire and Action the King could "dominate the market"...

Instead, the King applied a contrary approach - I like him already...

He withdrew potatoes from the market. He said that from now on, only the Royal Family could eat potatoes and they would only be allowed to be grown in the grounds of the Royal Palace - and they would be protected by armed soldiers from his personal guard.

Now, all good people know that if something is worth protecting with soldiers - it is also worth stealing - it must be valuable...

The guards were instructed to protect the crops of potatoes "badly" - and to turn a blind eye to anyone trespassing or stealing the crop. Pretty soon, illegal potato crops were sprouting up all over Prussia, and the potato became sought after as a staple alternative to wheat.

Frederick the Great thought the opposite of what intuition may have initially told him - or for that matter his equivalent of an MBA qualified Marketing Consultant.. He kept his product a closely guarded secret, by using the principle of scarcity - and eventually achieved domination by doing the opposite..

What can we learn from this - simply to think in a contrary manner, go where the others don't; do the opposite of what the guru's say and you just might get the best results...

Twas the Night before Christmas...

Which Ghosts are guiding you...?

On Saturday Lynn was out partying with some of her friends - and us guys stayed in for a takeaway, ready for the call to go and collect the girls when they finally wanted to come home..

So we sat there drinking Coke and eating Prawn Crackers making conversation betwen us, although none  of us actually knew each other that well. Now, guys will talk about cars, football, money and business - what struck me was not the subject of the conversation, but the context - there appeared to be three main Ghosts in their Machines..

1. Ghost of Christmas Past - the old days were better. Young people today don't have any respect and lack the knowledge to make a valuable contribution to the world. These guys were stuck in the past and were being guided by their dislike of the new.

2. Ghost of Christmas Present - their identity was purely based upon what they were doing right now. This was the power of the Ego - how everything that went well was due to their own personal efforst and aything that didn't - was the fault of someone else. They talked about how great they were, how much they knew and how everyone else was somehow less than them - they were in fact the Alpha Males and their whole identity was defined by what who they were at that instant. Apparently the brand and size of car is important here too...

3. Ghost of Christmas Future - the dreamers. We have lived in the USA and now we live in rural France - the journey has been and continues to be exciting... 
I really can't tell you the number of people (in the dozens...) who have told me that they would love to travel the world, live in Las Vegas or France and have a business that supported their lifestyle; rather than the other way round. What I can tell you is the number of people I have met that have actually done it - Three.
The conversation occasionally moved to "what if scenarios" - however, for every positive there appeared to be three overiding negatives that meant the Dream would have to wait - for the Kids, the Business, the Money etc..

All these Ghosts are debillitating in their own way - the reality is of course that Ghosts only exist if we believe they do, or we choose to create them as a mechanism to cope with the FEAR of achieving our true potential -  maybe it is time to look for alternative evidence to support a different belief structure.

Now we all have our Ghosts and Demons - but is there one that is dominating your life or business...?

Which Ghost is guiding you - is it time to move on..?

We are Not Broken...

The French Started it...

It was arguably a Frenchman called Emile Coue who began what we now know as the Personal Development movement - he would encourage people to simply affirm to themselves that "Every Day in Every Way I Am Getting Better and Better..."

Since this 19th Century pioneer, the movement has become awash with Coaches, Mentors, Gurus, Master Practitioners, Wizards and Pop Psychologists of every flavour.

The movement has some great and wise people doing amazing work - inspiring and teaching others how to lead happier more fulfilling lives, make more money and contribute positively to society and the world.

Around its rather tarnished and faded edges there are also those who, having achieved nothing of significance themselves, seek to simply regurgitate received knowledge in the vain hope that, whilst it didn't work for them - they will get paid enough money by others if they relay the ideas with enough conviction.

I went to a seminar earlier this year and was told that in order to become successful I had to overcome my limiting beliefs. I wasn't aware that I had such things, but I was assured that in fact I did, and unless I overcame them - I would be banished to a life of mediocrity and depression. 

The clear message was that we were all broken and needed to be fixed - with a cocktail of visualisations, time line analysis, NLP and regression therapy. Much crying and sobbing ensued with "breakthroughs" being achieved in the dense embrace of a Kleenex tissue - I went to the bar for an early lunch...

But what if we weren't all broken - what if all these "Coaches" with zero on their personal and professional balance sheet, didn't have to bring the audience down to their level before they move forwards.

The skills that apparently qualify such gurus' include - working a the Council / Factory and being laid off, selling furniture, working as a waiter, having a breakdown / divorce / bankruptcy, being shouted at by the teacher and any number of other mind numbing experiments in banality.

Working with a Coach is the single best thing that any of us can do - so make sure you pick a good one...

Next time you are in touch with a Coach, Consultant, Master Wizard or Practitioner of any kind - check out their credentials - specifically;

1. Relationships - have they been able to have a long term stable relationship with anyone, ever...?
2. Have they actually achieved anything of significance - personally or professionally...?
3. Are the using their own knowledge and ideas - or simply those that have been found on Wikipedia or on the "Mind and Spirit" shelf at Waterstones.
4. Do they assume you are broken and need fixing - or amazing and simply need encouraging with some proven strategies...?
5. Have they become a Coach / Mentor / Wizard simply because they were laid off or became unemployable...?
5. Are they a person that you aspire to be like...?

If you cannot answer these questions to your satisfaction, move on and find someone to help you who actually cares enough about themselves and those around them to have achieved something amazing before they attempt to help others do the same.