At 39 it was time to get the F#@£ out of there...

There is still something shocking and disturbing about the "F" word - it pervades our society and enters into the conversations we have with ourselves and others...

It is the one word that holds us back from achieving our full potential and we even pass it on to our friends family and children safe in the knowledge that our issues will become their issues too..

The word is FEAR of course....

You may of course have found yourself thinking of another four letter word beginning with F...

Fail, Folk or Fame for example...

In 1982 I was as young Engineering Apprentice working for the Ministry of Defence as part of Royal Ordnance - not in the military but in the design , development and manufacture of assault rifles and cannon up to 30mm...

During that time I was involved with the special projects division in support of the Falklands War which ended on the 14th June, and as such got to work with some of the soldiers from the Parachute Regiment and Special Forces brigades.

I asked one of the soldiers who was due to be deployed, if he was scared of going and the prospect of being in combat - in hindsight a stupid question, but at the time seemed a good idea...

He was only 22 years old, stood about 5' 10" and looked tough and mean; I was glad he was on our side...

He simply said - "Everyone gets scared, you just trust your mates, trust your training and trust yourself; it's how you deal with it that matters..."

"Everyone gets scared; it's how you deal with it that matters..."

In life and business, there are plenty of Fears, Worries & Concerns that hold us back. We don't call them by these names of course we call them Logic, Comfort and Commons Sense, then we surround them with Reasons, Evidence and Doubt such that we convince ourselves to take the paths of least resistance.

By the time I was 39 I had a great career, my own successful businesses a great family and life was good - but it wasn't great...

Living in a small Shropshire town in a cul de sac of new "executive detached homes" we all drove German Saloon cars, went out for a curry on a Saturday and spent each new year in the sitting room of one of the neighbours singing Auld Lang Syne at midnight...

To me it was like living on the set of a Soap Opera, it was a suburban routine that was turning into a nightmare...

So we decided to make a change before it was too late...

We sold our business interests and decided to follow our hearts; we decided that running a Logistics, Transport and Recruitment business wasn't for us, we decided to change direction away from all that we knew, put all our assets on the line and start from scratch doing a business we knew we'd love...

Were given advice from others, told not to do it and even told that we were having a mid life crisis and that it would all calm down in a few years...

Were we scared of making this change...?

Yes - but we had to trust each other, our instincts and ourselves and simply believe that we would make it work...

We could have found 101 excuses not to make the change- it was not the "common sense" thing to do , we were doing OK as we were and in hindsight it would have been a lot easier to succumb to the anaesthetic of suburban mediocrity...

Since then we have built the business we love, left the UK to live in the USA and then moved back to Europe to live in France; not in a boxy "Executive" home but a rambling house in 2 acres with a gravel drive and wrought iron gates...

We have friends, colleagues and clients all over the world and our social and business network is truly amazing - and most of all life is great, and we are happy...

Was it easy...?

No, we lived on beans on toast when things were tough, we bought each other spares for the car for Christmas and Birthdays and occasionally sat staring at the stars wondering if we'd ever make it...

We have worked harder than we ever have, cried more, laughed more and travelled more than we ever thought possible. Because we love what we do, it's not work any more; writing this Blog on a Sunday afternoon with Molly the Labrador sat at my feet is not a chore it's a pleasure and privilege...

Would we do it again...?

Absolutely; with the benefit of 20:20 hindsight we may do it a bit different if we had our time over, but my only regret is not doing it earlier...

So why do so many people choose to allow their "Fears" to get in the way of doing what they really want - I don't mean just making money - but living the life of the dreams, with people they love...?

Simple - their allow their FEAR to outweigh their DREAM..

In fact before that, they don't have clarity about what their DREAM actually is; it gets dulled by corporate career, hard work and long hours, and the people they associate with who validate and perpetuate their comfortable situation...

I spent a number of years, and I suspect many others do too, living and working between two limiting factors - FEAR and PAIN...

Sounds a bit melodramatic, but I always knew that I wanted to DO more and BE more; I still do, it is a journey not an event...

As life progressed and I achieved more I would get to a point where my FEAR outweighed my Determination and I bounced off the barrier that the FEAR created. I accepted this for a while but then as my frustration grew and the Quality of Life diminished as a result, I would again have to confront my FEAR of change and taking the risk associated with breaking through.

And again I would get to the point of actually deciding, the FEAR would win and I would bounce of the barrier again.

For many people this is how personal and professional life is; a sequence of bounces between FEAR and Pain; not a great place  to be. It is why so many turn to alcohol, gambling, divorce etc. as a coping mechanism..

So how do we overcome the FEAR Barrier...?

1. Build your Vision and Dream - with as much clarity as you can. Be clear it is what you actually want and not just something that your parents would approve of...

2. Prepare to let go - of all that you know; your identity, ego and status. Doing what you love may need a new version of You to be available...

3. Trust yourself - to be able to do what ever it takes to achieve it; you may work long hours and live on beans on toast for a while, but if you know you can do it, then you will...

4. Do It - make the change. Then use your resources and develop your knowledge as you go.

5. Enjoy the challenge - and the journey, only taking those people with you who will support, guide and inspire you...

The breakthrough will come when the strength of your Dreams outweighs the power of your FEARS...

Let your Vision and Dreams guide you - we are on this planet for a short enough time; way to short to live caught between the thresholds of Pain and FEAR...

What experience have you had when overcoming Fears and making changes in your life...?

What advice would you give to anyone considering making changes..?

David Holland MBA is the Founder and CEO of Results Rules OK, a Business Coaching, Training and Publications Company with offices in France, Luxembourg and the UK...

To find out more about working with David as you Business Coach, Executive Coach or Team Trainer - just drop him a note to davidholland@resultsrulesok.com for an introductory and complimentary discussion that just could change your life, your business and your results...

If you'd like to come to one of our Events to meet David, the Team and some of his Clients, then check out the website HERE - we look forward to seeing you and hearing from you...