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Thursday, 1 October 2015

Your Marketing Sucks - here's why...

As a 17 year old I can remember vividly how, when I drove across an unmarked crossroads on a housing estate, my driving instructor smacked the dashboard with his note book and shouted...
Never enter a junction without looking - you'd  have failed your test and may have killed someone...
He was right - and I have never forgotten his words - or the violence of the attack on my VW Beetle dashboard...

I can't remember what he said the next week or the week after that...
I remember my first day at the Ministry of Defence - being barked at as newbie as we were handed Rifles to play with and take apart...
What happened on day three...?

I have no idea...
The day I met Lynn is as clear today as if it was yesterday - what she wore, where we sat on the school bus, and how I walked her home because she had "nicked" my scarf...
Our wedding day, the birth of our two sons, the death of my father and numerous other significant occasions remain imprinted on my mind...

Over the last 35 years I reckon I can remember with clarity around 250 specific conversations, meetings, and occasions...
There are 1000's that I have experience that I can recall, but are not "imprinted" on my mind - there are 1000's more that have been forgotten for all time...
Why do some messages, occasions and conversations have long lasting impact and others don't...?

They don't have SPLAT...

SPLAT is the effect of shock, surprise and sudden disruption...
It's when we are surprised, startled or moved in such a way that the effects are long lasting and powerful...

This is how we need to communicate...

Lets face it - Most marketing Copy Sucks - that is the Latin derivation of the word meaning useless, boring and irrelevant...

It is written without passion purpose or care - it's a second rate excuse for an email, article or advert...

Calling it Bland is an insult to Blandness 

The number of Blogs, Emails, Adverts and Messages we are bombarded with every day means that we remember less than 0.25% - and I am being generous here...
Most of the messages get deleted by our minds - they may reappear after they are repeated enough times such that we buy a "brand" the next time we are in the supermarket; without really understanding why...
In the SME sector however we are not about Brand we are about Reputation, we don't have time to subliminally influence consumers with tag lines, jingles and images; we need prospects now...
The harsh reality of marketing is that it is not the best product or service that gets chosen by prospects - it's the one that sticks in their mind, the one that emotionally engages them, the one that moves them to make a decision to act...

Stand out or Die...

In business speak this is simply translated as "achieving competitive advantage through differentiation..."
No one who thinks in those terms will be memorable for long...

So here is the formula for delivering messages with SPLAT...

SPLAT that sticks, becomes irritatingly memorable, significant and moving, shocking and awesome at the same time...

SPLAT can be sweet or sour, hot or cold; your job isn't to entice people it's to move them; make them smile, grimace or shake their heads - emotional engagement is the key...

If you get Splatted - you'll know; your emotions will sing, your will feel pain, pleasure or elation, you'll love and hate - but you'll always remember..
Splatting leaves scars - your marketing needs to not only stand out, but shout and scream; grabbing prospects by the lapels and slapping them with the wet Haddock of memorable uniqueness...
It's time to take off the gloves, unlearn all that "stuff" you learned in the Marketing Class and define who you are and what you do in a way that can't be ignored.

That's SPLAT...!!

The 9 Laws of SPLAT Sales & Marketing...

  1. Law of the First - be new, creative and unique, it's called the Roger Bannister, or Neil Armstrong Effect. 
  2. Law of the Shocking - not in an offensive way, but your message must hit people and SPLAT them not just bounce off them..
  3. Law of Marmite - state your case such that some will hate you and some will love you; and be consistent with your position...
  4. Law of being Awesome - be so good at something you have to ration it not promote and sell it...
  5. Law of being Brave - your instinct is right; use it to guide your headline and your content marketing...
  6. Law of the Honest - if you've been fired, homeless or depressed, tell people and refer to Rule 3 for support...
  7. Law of the Credible - you have to be able to deliver what you promise and more; invest more in R&D than you do in Marketing...
  8. Law of the Few - you don't need everyone to buy from you, just a few motivated clients will do; Class Market not Mass Market...
  9. Law of Consistency - you must deliver your promise in the same way you deliver your message; Funky message must equal Funky service...

SPLAT...!

...the 9 Laws of Sales & Marketing they don't teach you at University...

Will be the subject of a NEW Book by David Holland - it will be written during the summer and released by the end of 2015...
Leave a comment below ( a nice one...!) and you'll get a FREE E Book version of SPLAT Marketing sent to you by Email...

If you have any stories, content or examples I can use in the Book - then drop me an email and I will take a look and of course if I use them will give you full acknowledgement in the book - just no money of course...

davidholland@resultsrulesok.com

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