Is Dating Clients in the Black Country a good Idea..?

When we lived in the USA a good friend of mine, Michael Kiick would compare Franchising to being “a marriage not a date…” referring to the long term relationship that buying a Franchise entails rather than a short term single purchase of a service…

 

Selling anything, whether it is a product or a service requires a relationship of knowing, liking and trusting – we need to be careful how we approach the process. 

 

Don’t Date your Clients and Prospects….

 

When I first started in Sales it was selling packaging materials to industrial users in the Black Country – to the West of Birmingham, across the M5 for those who don’t know the region. 

Back then the Black Country was like Beirut, but without the amenities…

If you think yours is a tough business, try selling cardboard boxes in Quarry Bank and Gornal; We were based beside the Saltwells Pub where there was a meat raffle and a stripper on Friday lunchtime – no further comments please…

The first piece of advice I was given was “don’t go and be having sex with your clients…”

For those of you that know the industrial landscape of the Black Country, you will also know that there are very few attractive opportunities to have sex with anyone whether they happen to be clients or not…

Clearly this advice was given on the basis that someone had actually slept with one of the clients; this sort of advice only comes from bitter experience – welcome to Sales…

Selling is NOT Dating…

There are rules to Selling as there are rules to Dating; they are different…

Rule 1 – Testimonials.

Selling – You will need testimonials from previous Clients. We need to trigger “social proof” such that the prospect will believe that because others have had a good experience with you, they can expect the same.

Dating – You definitely do not want your date to speak with your ex. Your history and past conquests are of no interest here and should be avoided at all costs. This includes photo's, letters, text messages and Facebook comments.

Rule 2 – Getting Screwed.

Selling – in the sales relationship there has to be a genuine Win: Win. The value of the money transacted between the parties must be less than the perceived value of the service or product delivered, and definitely no one should get screwed or even feel that they have been.

Dating – getting screwed is perfectly acceptable here; in fact it is the primary focus of the relationship in the early stages. Whilst the novelty may wear off as the relationship develops, it is still acceptable, even if it happens only at weekends.

Rule 3 – Closing.

Selling – the sales ritual may involve dinner, lunch, telephone calls and text messages after which there will come a time when a deal can be “closed” work can begin. If the prospect objects or says NO, it doesn’t mean no it simply means “show me more value in order that I can agree to the deal”. The more value and expertise you display the more likely you are to close the deal.

Dating – the dating ritual also includes dinner, lunch, telephone calls and text messaging, after which time there is the potential for “taking the relationship to the next level”. Here, when either party says NO, they absolutely mean it and it is your cue to leave. The more expertise you display here is not only inappropriate but will likely get you arrested.

Rule 4 – Referrals.

Selling – when you do a good job with a client and they are happy with the service you provide it is perfectly acceptable to ask for introductions, referrals and testimonials to enable you to attract additional clients. The principle here is that you enjoy working with them so much that you’d like to work with more people just like them, and these are people they will probably know.

Dating – I tested this out. Lynn and I have been together for 34 years. I asked Lynn if she was happy and that our relationship was strong and mutually supportive, she confirmed that it was. So I invited Lynn to introduce me to three of her friends, giving me a written testimonial regarding how great I am and take a phone call from them if they had any questions.  Simply put, it didn’t go well, but what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

Rule 5 – In Laws

Selling – it doesn’t matter what his Mother thinks of your or what her Father says about you. What matters is that the Client gets great value, and at some level we help them look good and get better results. We should have a single point of focus in the relationship and that is simply to deliver outstanding value on a consistent basis – that alone will be the basis for a long term mutually profitable relationship.

Dating – it does matter what Mommy and Daddy think. Whilst negative feedback can actually strengthen the bond between two people, sometimes parental influence can break the relationship. Furthermore, it can be important that both sets of parents like each other, further confusing the relationship.

Rule 6 – Reciprocation

Selling – Money is the currency of the relationship, and Value is the commodity we are trading. The more value we deliver the more we can expect to get paid; in business Revenue and Profit is simply the barometer by which we measure the amount of value we deliver, they are a symptom. If you want to make more money, simple; deliver more value.

Dating – don’t try this. If after a special evening you wake up and make breakfast in bed for your partner, that is a great move, if however you leave a £50.00 note on the bedside table as a reward, it is likely not to be taken so well – see one of my previous Blogs about Hooker Bookers for more detail. In relationships the currency is Love and the commodity is Friendship and Respect.

Summary

There are similarities between dating and selling – it is the differences we need to be aware of..

Selling involves both Logic and Emotion. Usually people will justify their emotional decisions with a logical reason - for example...

“Why did you buy a Ferrari 458…?”

“Because it doesn’t depreciate…”

No you didn’t, you did it to look cool and pick up girls – but guys don’t admit this...

Selling = Emotion x Logic

We need both to make the sale, build them both into your Sales process and you will close the deal, remember the currency is Money and the commodity is Value...

Dating = Emotion x 10

There is no explaining Dating – crazy things happen when the emotions take over, and that is why the approach has to be different.

Finally, to all the great people of the Black Country - thank you for getting me started in Sales, I am hopeful that your legendary sense of humour is still in tact...

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Have a profitable and enjoyable week...