The only Straight in the Village; listen carefully…

I was passed a Referral from a colleague at a regular networking event, she told me that the prospect was really looking forward to meeting me and was expecting my call…

 

I called, booked an appointment and attended what would turn out to be a transformational meeting. Turns out that I was being invited to be the Business Coach for a large and dynamic Gay Nightclub in the centre of the city – it was well known and very high profile.

This was new territory for me and I have to admit feeling a little uncertain about entering this world; as a married man with two sons, this was going to be interesting…

We agreed a Program and got started – and got working on how to make the business more profitable. 

The Night Club was located at the heart of the Gay Village, and as the character in the series Little Britain was known; Daffyd – the only Gay in the Village, I became known as David – the only Straight in the Village.

Over time, I got to know the Team well – they were a colourful mix of creative, passionate individuals who really knew what a good night out looked like, and they were some of our favourite clients – Lynn and I even held our 21^st Wedding Anniversary Party there complete with Snakes, Exotic Dancers and Rock Band; the story of Jackie the shoes and the “door whore” is for another time…

Lynn and I attended the Gay Pride Ball and got to know some of the best people we have ever had the privilege of working with – if I had known as a teenager that straight girls go to Gay bars so they get left alone, I may have changed my nightlife choices…

So my life and professional experiences expanded. I became used to seeing the guys wandering round in costume, learned why Vaseline had to be smeared lightly on all flat surfaces in the washrooms (drop me an email for the reason – and it is not what you’re thinking…), and most importantly, came to like and respect people whose lifestyles were totally different to mine.

Scroll forwards from the UK to Las Vegas…

We had the opportunity of moving to Las Vegas for Business. I arrived first and stayed at the delightful Hampton Suites for a few weeks whilst getting a house and car sorted out.

The car was easy – a huge Ford Expedition was purchased, and we still have it even though it is now in the Moselle Valley in France with us…

The House was a bit more difficult; Las Vegas is a big city with a population of nearly 2 million, choosing not just the house but the location was going to be a challenge, and I needed advice. I was referred to Steve, a Realtor (Estate Agent) and met him at the Blue Martini Bar, in the Town Centre area just off the strip.

He was originally from the deep south of the USA and had a pronounced “drawl” to his accent which when combined with the noise of the Bar, made conversation a little difficult, but here is an excerpt from our conversation;

Me – “so what area of Vegas would you recommend for property..?”

Steve – “somewhere like Summerlin or Henderson would be just fine, just make sure you go for a “gayded” community…”

Me – “really, a gay community…?”

Steve – “yes sir, you will need to be secure in Vegas, there are some real bad people out there…”

Me - "will they allow us to live there..?"

Steve - "yeah of course, this is Vegas man, you need to be careful..."

So you can kind of see what happened here…

In the noisy bar he had suggested that I look for property in a “Gated” Community, but with his accent I heard “Gay” community. Fair enough, I thought; perhaps my experience as the only Straight in the Village would come in useful after all.

On the 'phone I explained to Lynn how strange Las Vegas was, and that we would need to live on a Gay Community; but at least the parties would be good...

Off I go to ReMax - Realtor – and sit with Helen who specialises in Rental Properties in the Summerlin area of the city. She asks me what I am looking for so I give her the list;

Four Bedrooms, Triple Garage, Pool & Spa – and of course it must be in a Gay community…

She looked at me and I can tell what she is thinking – crazy limey. She explains that they don’t actually have Gay Communities in Las Vegas; the proverbial penny began to drop…

We ended up moving into a fabulous Gated Community in Summerlin, Las Vegas, and I also learned to improve my listening skills…

And the Moral is...

The moral to this story is to remember that when communicating with people, make sure they actually receive the message you intended them to - whether it is written or spoken, non verbal or visual; you may not be sending out the message you thought you were.

They will filter what they hear based on what they know and have experienced, not what you know and have experienced - always best to check for real understanding...